Day 13: Druggy Day! Shopping Gold.

Damn.. Those pills I got prescribed for anxiety. Woah… I was like a zombie today. Tired. Sad for no reason. Everything felt like I was in slow-mo. The pill is called “Nexito 5”. I was fine this morning. I looked at some navel pics. Again as usual. Did not fap.

 

Mom gave the pill after I had my breakfast. It took like an hour to work. By the time, I was at my Java class, I couldn’t understand basic code. I wasn’t able to speak coherently. Lesson was quite useless today. My teacher didn’t even go through anything. When the Java lesson finished, I informed her that I will be coming to the Internship today. She refused and said she is off today.

Very well. Off I went. My mom and my grandma wanted to go to this jewellery store. I told her that I will be free this afternoon. So, I went with them. Bored. I sat on the couch played Sub-way surfers.

When I looked myself in one of the mirrors, I realised my melasma has been healed well on my left side. Not at all on my right. This reminded me to go to my dermatologist. Again, I was so tired in the shop. My mind was so calm and my limbs were numb. I just wanted to lay down all day. My grandma sold a gold coin that my uncle gifted and got herself a chain that weights around 56 grams. Mom and grandma bought even more gold. Chain purchase was the only one I saw.

My rich grandma said she had purchased for nearly 200,000 rupees today. That’s like £2000. Damnn.. Grandma. To be honest, she doesn’t spend this kind of money very often. So, it is fine.

We came home as soon as the shopping finished. I had to call my bro from the bus stop today. Not Mom. Plumbers came over today and fixed the leaky sink. Finally, it has been fixed.

The vacant house upstairs that I was talking about in yesterday’s entry. Remember I said Uncle B wanted to move in. Unfortunately, some North Indian folks beat us to it.  😦

Uncle B will disappointed to know.

Then, I just wanted to make sure if I really do have anxiety. So, I did some online tests. Quite depressed while on the drugs, nearly every quiz said that I suffer from severe anxiety. Weird thing is I don’t know what’s causing it.

The only thing I’m worried about is how poorly I’m doing in academics. That’s it. My family isn’t as bad as it used to be. I’ve never had any problem with money or any expenses. I think it should be my habit of fapping. Remember Fapping is a viscous cycle.

Oh yeah. Forgot to mention that we went on this long journey to find a Yoga center nearby. Found one after the 3rd try. Should join there tomorrow. As we left one of the centers, she reminded me about the other when we had food at a restaurant. Not very long ago. I had completely forgotten. See, this is how bad my memory has gotten. 😦 She got really pissed off.

NoFap

As I already mentioned, I did look at some navel pics. But, when I was in the Java class, I found a post on r/NoFap saying that point of noFap is restrict yourself from viewing any urging material. I read about this post where this had retained semen for 90 days. The results sound amazing.

I’m feeling difference here and there. I can remember things now if I think about more than 30 seconds. I can look into a girl’s eye without thinking it is awkward. Oh yeah.. I did some revision today. Not the best session. But, it is a start. A good start. Finished half of Arithmetic slides.  😀

PS: I’m trying to bring back my morning wood. It happened once. That’s it.

Thank God.

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